Her Prophet Bleeds

~I feel so tired and beaten down. I want to just sit and weep all of this out. I feel I’ve failed and am ‘less than’. I feel angry and frustrated. I feel grief and self pity and loss and so on endlessly…

The only thing I don’t feel is wrong. I fucking Know this Path – and the radical solutions it entails – are Correct and Truth. All of the above feelings come solely from my fear that I myself am simply not up to the task.

“The Miracle of Birth Version 2.0”

~Tatti Ducett had scheduled her labor to begin within a half an hour. This was her first Daughter, named Parvati, and she was nervous.

But Murphy, her own Womb Mother, and Lalanna, her lover, Partner and Seed Mother of this child, were attending as her Midwives. Together they had saged and Blessed the Birthing Chamber, invoking various Birthing Goddesses; Hathor, Ilithyia, Meskhent, Tlazolteotl, Ajysyt, Pi-hsia-yuan-chun, Nintur, and of course, Isis and Artemis.

The Birthing Pool was running at correct temperature, seventy eight degrees, its water pure and filtered. All close family who were on world or in near Earth space had gathered, except for Selena, her Seed Mother, who was supervising a mining operation out in the Asteroid Belt, but had sent a very loving vid.

Tatti’s physiocomp softly ‘chimed’ in her head. It was time. She was Linked to all present, so they heard that too. Murphy and Lalanna took off her thin white chemise, guided her down the steps into the Birthing Pool. When she was hip deep, they each grasped one of her breasts, gently squeezing spurts of milk into the swirling water as a final Blessing.

Tatti slipped herself between the padded armrests and relaxed against the Pool’s wall. She then focused on Parvati, her daughter stirring within her womb in anticipation. Tatti had spent ten and half months monitoring and shaping her child, guiding nanites here and there. In the last two months basic verbal communication had become possible, though Parvati herself could still only send feelings.

Tatti smiled at all gathered, kissed Murphy and Lalanna. “I’m ready,” she said, took a deep breath, and sent the Birthing Command to her physiocomp.

The first thing it did was flood her with endorphins. Then it blocked most, though not all, pain sensation in her lower body. It would monitor all body functions, which both Murphy and Lalanna would follow via Link. Tatti knew she’d be sore later, but that mattered not in this moment.

She was semi-delirious as her brain swam in pleasure inducing hormones. She gathered what focus she could and talked to Parvati, who was also bathed in her mother’s endorphins, dampening any fear she had.

The physiocomp handled all the ‘heavy lifting’; regulating contractions, dilating the cervix, and the ‘push-push-push’. All Tatti had to do was guide Parvati down and out.

Parvati ‘crowned’ within five minutes and then popped out into the water in seconds. It gave her a slight shock as it was twenty degrees cooler than her mother’s womb, but that sharpened her senses and she bobbed about below the surface, blinking her eyes open.

Meanwhile, hundreds of thousands of nanites rushed into Tatti’s womb and birth canal, repairing damaged tissues and breaking down the placenta for reabsorbtion or excretion, all guided by her physiocomp.

Lalanna submerged and took hold of Parvati, lifting her to the surface. She spat and coughed a bit, making faces as Lalanna wiped off the afterbirth. She then looked directly at her mother for the first time, smiled and mumbled, “Tatti.”

Everyone laughed with joy. Lalanna handed Parvati to Tatti, where the child latched quickly onto a nipple and began to suckle. Her mother sighed deeply, as did everyone else. All present murmured, “Blessed Be.”

After a moment, Parvati mumbled, “Bessibee,” around her mother’s nipple. And The Sisterhood grew that much stronger.

In Which Her Prophet Feels Indifferent [repost]

…I wrote this last June 27th [28th Sestia] so roughly ten and half Gregorian months ago..in some ways, I’ve been stuck in that place for the entire time..between That Woman and The Oathbreaker this has been a very tough passage..I don’t feel ‘indifferent’ today, just burnt out..unlike back then I can feel The Explanation stirring inside of my Mind..I’m simply too exhausted to Face The Page..the other thing is that The Oathbreaker has made us very wary of ever letting anyone else under our roof again..that is her worst crime..she badly damaged our willingness to trust..not really sure what can be done about that besides just moving forward and seeing what happens…

~Ever since I wrote that expansion to The Preface I’ve been very ‘low key’. In some ways it feels like ‘indifference’. In other ways it feels like ‘relief’. Either way, I’m not doing anything with The Explanation right now. I’m rather ambiguous about that lack of movement.

These past few days I’ve been fairly comfortable in my own skin, at least mentally. I’m not feeling driven like I usually am…which is the ‘relief’ part. That feeling has been literal torture all too many times and I sure the fuck don’t miss that discomfort.

But its absence is making me think hard about what I’ve been doing all these years, the ‘madness’ of following this Path to “establish a New Matriarchy”. I’m a fat old man with PTSD, diabetes and mouthful of broken teeth. And I’m probably giving myself an ulcer from all the ibuprofen I take to manage that tooth pain. Le-Le is in worse shape than me, with MS, degenerative disk disorder, etc. We’re both on Disability for a reason.

I’ve been thinking, “How the fuck are you two broken down gimps going to ‘change the world’?” and not in a despairing way, but in a realistic fashion, asked not from my depression, but from a relative calmness.

This is not me ‘giving up’; I’m a bit too Virgo/OCD for that. I’ll finish The Explanation sooner or later. But after that…? I have no fucking idea.

One thing I can say for certain however. If no Sisters show up to do this Work – not to ‘help me’, but to do the Work themselves – there ain’t gonna be no fucking New Matriarchy, ever.

Her Prophet Speaks

..a message to a Sister written this morning..

“Funny, was just looking at the Explanation cover letter I wrote you last April. “The Explanation is at the moment – rounded to the nearest hundred – 57, 700 words long. I’m expecting the finished product to hit 70,000 words no sweat. Probably more.”

It’s now at 77,000+ words and I’m calculation it’ll hit 100,000+ words before the First Version is done.

The thing that bugs me the most about this housing shit – besides basic survival issues – is that it has totally derailed my writing.”

A Good Handgun for The Sisterhood

Gun Review: Taurus 450: Forget the Judge
http://www.guns.com/gun-review-taurus-450-ultra-lite-45-colt-7364.html

Today is The Kalends of Quinqia 12AS

The Kalends is what we call the 1st of each month. It is always a Eponaday, always a First Day, always a Beginning.

On this day we Invoke Quinqia*, Goddess of The Fifth Month of The Year, and ask Her to Guide us and Protect us through all of Her Thirty Days. Blessed Be…

“The concept behind making each month a Goddess in Her own right comes from something E says in Part Two “The Temple’s Metaphysics”: “By focusing individual or collective Will upon a specific Aspect of The Creatrix, meaning a specifically Named Goddess – such as Astarte, Kali, or, Bride – a Tulpa may be invoked out of The Creatrix, a part of Her that can be understood and related to, and therefor directed.”

The idea here being to Invoke each Monthly Goddess at the beginning of of Her Thirty Days, asking for Her Guidance and Protection during Her Time. To facilitate this, we are reintroducing another Roman convention, The Kalends, Latin for ‘announcing’ or ‘calling’ and the basis for the word Calendar, as the first day of each month. Upon the arrival of The Kalends we are reminded to make the above Invocation.

These are new Goddesses and as yet Un-Manifested. Therefore, now as I write these words upon this page, I Invoke them and call then into Being.

By reading their Names, you my Sisters, also Invoke them. And as Common Usage becomes Established Tradition, the Nature and Traits of each Goddess shall make themselves apparent and become fully Manifest. Through this process, we shall Serve them and they shall Serve us, which is ever the proper relationship between Humans and their Deities.”

*Kwin-key-ah

Addendum D [Calendar for A New Matriarchy]

Her Prophet Reflects

~I grew up in an extreme and dysfunctional environment full of emotional violence. I live with the Damage it caused to this very day.

I don’t say that as a Victim; I survived it. I state it as a simple fact of who I am, much the same as my height, my gender and my eye color.

I also grew up with Privilege and Money. Combined with my Damage, all that gives me a unique view of the world, a valuable and hard won perspective. And…

…that Damage also makes me very..’jumpy’ in situation like the one we’re in right now. Our personal prospects are actually pretty good, but we have to wait things out and there is uncertainly and I don’t do well with that. Too much imagination in some ways, imagination skewed toward ‘negative outcomes’.

This is when I start to doubt myself and my Path – “Who do you think you are?” “You’re too damaged to do this work.” “No wonder no-one will follow you.” – and so on. Self examination can be a double edged sword.

I then have to remind myself once more that I am not supposed to be a Leader, but merely a Guide. It is from among you, my Sisters, that our Leaders are to be found, and especially from among those Sisters who will grow up inside The Sisterhood, who will be nurtured and trained to Own their Power and Know their Path from their earliest days.

That is what keeps me going on some of these long empty nights.

Her Prophet Speaks

..message to an old friend..

“At the center of everything that I am doing and dealing with is The Explanation. I’ve been working on it directly for nearly four years now and I estimate that it is about three quarters done. I know it seems sometimes like I’m standing still – it feels like to me as well at times – but in fact I’m always working on it.

Even when the First Version is finally done and published, that will only be a single Event in an ongoing Process. And so it is…

http://theexplanation-nebris.blogspot.com/

Her Prophet’s ‘Easter Message’

“Now, from a legal and an epistemological stand point, The Pentavalence is a Religion in that it emanates from Revealed, and not Empirical, Knowledge, and it is meant to operate in a religious manner. However, we in The Temple of The Pentavalence view it as a Metaphysical Operating System and, in part, this is why.

The entire concept of Religion has itself has become problematic. Religion almost always implies Dogma, a fixed ideology that says, “The world is this way. Period!” and for a modern technological civilization, that is really a non-starter. Very few things ever stay ‘this way’ for long in such a civilization. And the Religions that now dominate our world clash with that paradigm more and more every day and with steadily increasing violence.

The problems the JudeoChristLamic Father/God Cults have with our modern techno-logical civilization are fairly obvious. All three are the ‘metaphysical operating systems’ of Bronze Age desert nomads ruled by tribal Patriarchs. Their world view is narrow and provincial and their God is a Small God, one confined, at the very least, to this world alone.

Confronted with the modern scientific reality of The Universe, He is positively Lilliputian. For His faithful, such a situation evokes Fear, then Hate, and finally, Rejection.

There are a growing number who consider Atheism to be the ideal replacement for Religion, but it too says, “The world is this way.”, though the “Period!” usually goes unspoken. Plus Atheism has two major failings, both fatal from our point of view.

First, as presently constituted, Atheism is essentially reactive, specifically a rejection of the JudeoChristLamic Father/God Cults, and every one of its tenants seem couched as a direct rebuke of said. That tends to allow the Father/God Cultists to frame all the debates and every time.

Second, and more importantly, Atheism also does not in any way, shape, or form, address the existential questions of Human Purpose and Existence in a vast and seemingly indifferent universe. It is utterly cold and denies the need for Spiritual solutions that Humans have sought ever since we could form the concept.

Hinduism and Buddhism contain many useful concepts, but each has its own crucial limitations.

Hinduism is really a ‘cultural religion’, that of India and of its people. It ‘exports’ poorly. Her Prophet has watched Westerners practice Hinduism and, to him at least, it always seemed a bit embarrassing, while the experience of Indian practice is usually very moving. That latter gave him an understanding of why some non-Indians would be drawn to Hinduism, but that is much akin to white folks wanting to be ‘black’.

True Buddhism is essentially Nihilist, its real practice requiring a total rejection of The Material and as such it must be a rejection of any modern technological civilization, which is by its very nature is ferociously materialist. Buddhism can suit individual practitioners quite well, but is basically unsuited for a civilization. We do not include the types of Buddhism where The Buddha has been remade as a ‘god’. We consider them ‘apostate’.

Modern Paganism is rather a mish-mash and barely any kind of an ‘ism’ at all and that in and of itself makes it unsuited as the Spiritual Path of an entire civilization. Plus, it too is deeply provincial.

Pagans – at least those that we know – are humans, so their Paganism is Anthropocentric. They are generally born of two genders, so their Paganism is Dualistic. They live on Earth, so their Paganism is Geocentric. And the large majority of them here in the United States are culturally – and often racially – European, so their Paganism is Euro-centric.

But, as with Hinduism and Buddhism, Paganism contains a number of useful concepts and, like those, we of The Temple have incorporated many of them.

So, in barely five hundred words, we have just dismissed the world’s five major religions and two of the most significant contemporary philo-religious movements. Such is the nature of this work.

While reading the above, some of you may have asked, ‘why does an entire civilization need a single Spiritual Path?’

Part of that answer is quite simple; we, The Temple of The Pentavalence, were created with the goal of utterly transforming human civilization as it presently stands and we were created is this form because history has shown over and over and over again that a Spiritual Path is the single most effective and long lasting method of achieving such a total transformation.

Such a total transformation is required because, as stated above, the human species is clearly in trouble. And there is another answer to the question, ‘why does an entire civilization need a single Spiritual Path?’

The answer is, “In order to guide a Triple Economy.”

..read it all at Her Prophet Explains: Part Three “The Temple’s Grand Strategy”

Her Prophet Reflects

~Looking out onto the insane political landscape that is The American Republic, I’m of the opinion that the main thing that keeps Yours Truly safe at this point is that maybe a total of seven people take me seriously.